Practicing Dying

Practicing Dying
Charlotte Northall

Practicing Dying is a literary anti-memoir documenting life in a Zen Buddhist monastery in rural France where the protagonist, a woman in her late twenties, attempts to overcome chronic drug addiction and mental illness. 

Broken and severely unwell, our protagonist arrives at the monastery from London: starving, drug-addicted and disillusioned, having exhausted every conventional treatment route available to her. The book examines how, habituated to a life of benefits assessments, petty-crime and sex work, she struggles to adjust to the rules, discipline and religious life of the monastery—at times to devastating and comedic effect. 

As the story unfolds, she reflects on her addictions and past experiences, raising critical questions about what it means to be "an addict" and why there may be vested corporate and societal interests in maintaining a narrow, individualistic understanding of addiction. 

Anarchic and provocative, tender and self-deprecating, Practicing Dying differs from other contemporary memoirs in the genre of addiction-recovery by simultaneously challenging the dominant narratives surrounding mental health while proposing an alternative approach to treating the “sickness of self” from which we all increasingly suffer. 

‘Practicing Dying is brilliant, rewarding and difficult. Northall offers the most brazen and shocking account of addiction I’ve ever read. Committing herself to the practice of Mahayana Buddhism, she eventually finds a way out, but only on the most rambling, circuitious path. Her account of addiction and loss, displacement and grief is profound and it proves that nothing is ever one thing.’ — Chris Kraus, author of The Four Spent The Day Together

‘The untamed offspring of Pema Chödrön’s The Wisdom of No Escape and David Wojnarowicz’s Close to the Knives, this is an addiction memoir that coolly refuses conventional narratives of addiction, trauma and recovery; an unflinching, no-holds-barred, seriously intelligent investigation into existence and how to survive it. A gut-wrenching, sublimely rewarding ride.’ — Olivia Laing, author of The Silver Book

‘Charlotte Northall’s Practicing Dying is extraordinary. It had me holding my breath. She writes in the same direct and uncompromising vein as Heather Lewis and Shulamith Firestone about the darkest corners of experience. But hers is ultimately a story of survival and even transcendence, one earned on every page. The existence of the book itself is hope.’ — Nate Lippens, author of Ripcord

Charlotte Northall is a London-based writer. Her debut, Practicing Dying, blends autobiography and cultural criticism to explore addiction, capitalism, and spiritual practice. She works with rough sleepers, supporting those living with addiction and complex mental health needs.